Saturday, April 30, 2011

Alpaca Festival 2011!

Does anyone think there won't be an alpaca farm in our future? Hee hee.





If you knew how much coordination this actually takes, you'd be laughing hard right now.

Friday, April 29, 2011

In Attendance At The Wedding...

I told my mom that if she was going to watch the royal wedding for hours on end that she'd have to wear one of those super ridiculous hats just like the other guests:



Relief From The Rain

After days of gray and dampness, the barnyard animals are all relaxing in the sun at the same time:



Sunday, April 24, 2011

Proof of Life and Clean Feet

This post is for my Aunt--again, who shall remain nameless, to protect the..er..innocent. It's for my Aunt who has two Miniature horses on our property: the two I am pretending to be a farmer with. She is obviously missing them and wants to know that they're okay. I would be the exact same way--and probably way more neurotic. Then again, I think I inherited it from her!

The two horses are wonderful: Shaq is always sweet and willing to let me kiss him; Assel is always ready to eat and quite impatient about letting you know that fact. However, he is as cute as Shaq. It's pretty near impossible to have a favorite out there.

The pics below are of me doing their weekly hoof care, picking a little dirt out of the bottoms of their hooves. Doesn't it look like I know what I'm doing? Would you ever have guessed that I'm deathly afraid of full-sized horses?


It's time to clean hooves and brush the boys. They are
starting to shed their winter fur.

Assel! Give me your foot.


Bea is in the background: she got her hoofs trimmed too:
Mr. H has to help me with that one. I can't hold a squirming goat by myself!

Easter Weekend in Bluebird Hollow

Beatrice loves the horses; they tolerate her, although I've seen Assel
talking to Bea nose to nose through their fence when we're not around too.
Wait til this guy wakes up with a little mayonnaise
and paprika on his head. Deviled gnome: yummy!
He's secretly hoping that there is much
more in his basket than one dumb
blue egg.

Joanie Loves Chachi?

Taking a break after hunting for their Easter baskets

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Martha Stewart is My Co-Pilot

Working from home, climbing the corporate ladder (on my plastic children's slide, approved for ages 4 and under), with the Martha Stewart Show on in the background: I'm formatting documents, conquering Microsoft Excel and learning how to put some lovely ric rac on an Easter tree skirt.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

April Tracks

I love taking Gunnar for a walk. Surprisingly, he and I do better when it's a bit colder. I don't know how this dog survived in the Arizona desert, because I can tell when the temps head toward 70 degrees that he is dreaming about snowboarding.

We had a freak ice and snow storm Tuesday night--well, it's not really a "freak" occurence: it's what we call "weather" up here in Cheeseland. The road wasn't plowed until 9am, and schools ran two hours late. (It's 90 degrees in Tucson, in case you were curious).

Wednesday morning Gunnar and I went out to see what we could see.


Raccoon and bird tracks
Easter Bunny tracks: he dropped off the
baskets early

I never get tired of this sight.






Headed back home to feed the goat

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Horsin' Around

That is a seriously cheesy title for this blog post. Here are some amateur photos, i.e. from my cell phone, of some of the beautiful creatures at the Midwest Horse Fair. No thanks: they are huge! I'll stick to my little Mini guys.


This is Mike. Apparently the louder the audience claps,
the more he will do. He can stop and turn on a dime!


This is an Andalusian: I just love guys with long hair!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Another Set of Twins!

Mr. H and I got another 5am phone call from Farmer Ron, announcing the birth of Donald and Daisy, brand new babies of Seneca-goat. I am still very particular to Jack and Jill (I think my grandmother is helping to name these goat kids). I'm also excited that my father feels this is an opportunity to pick up the phone and call, ring-worthy if you will. He doesn't like to be on the phone and rarely calls so I get a kick out of these birth announcements.

Meet Donald and Daisy Goat from Scapegoat Farm:

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Sometimes Family Members Lie

My mom has four sisters; therefore, I have four aunts. (This is also a small vignette that incudes a bit of math). They're all beautiful and talented and drive me crazy, but they're mine and I love them dearly.

My gorgeous red-headed aunt, who's name I shall not name to protect the innocent....the aunt that delivered two Mini horses to me two weeks ago...but I will not mention her name. I don't want to call her out in front of the whole world.

Here's what Tonda said to me--oops. Here's what my aunt said to me:
"The horses are "easy-keepers," and they go to the bathroom in one spot. Easy to clean up after."

My interepretation of what that means: both horses poop in one spot right on top of each other's horse apples, thus yielding one pile in any one entire pasture where I will have to scoop poop and throw it over my fence toward the "garden area." (For information on what defines a "garden area," see previous post).

Here's what Tonda--I mean, my aunt who shall remain nameless--was actually saying:
"These Mini horses poop a small pile in one spot every 30 minutes."

Every twelve hours I am picking up about twelve piles; that's 6 piles per horse, each throwin' one down every two hours. I toddle out there with my little red wheelbarrow (my aunt bought it for me--I love it) and scoop the piles with my rake onto the blue plastic shovel and then into the wheelbarrow.

Why are we still on the topic of horse apples? It's a new part of my world. Horses are a very new part of my world. Speaking of new worlds and otherworldly--that goat, Beatrice the wonder goat, was recorded today zooming up and down the pastures. If I can figure out how to upload that video from my phone to the blog, look out! It's gonna win me an Oscar; probably not a Tony, but definitely an Oscar--or maybe an Emmy. Once TLC television comes out and realizes my reality show would blow that family of 8 twin-trip-quan-tupletey things out of the water, I'll get my own videographer: maybe even my own horse apple shoveler...just like the elephant cleaner-upper at the circus.


Farming is serious business: a whole wheel barrow full of "apples"
and hay


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Pokey Loki

Due to the increasing jealousy stemming from the additions in the far back backyard, I promised Loki that I would start writing about him more often again. But, considering that it is his bedtime, I can only post a picture tonight: he was okay with that because he wants me to tuck him in! Honestly.


Breakfast Time In The Barn

All of the little animals were excited to see me this morning; Assel is extremely food motivated, just like his brother. Now that Assel is feeling better his true colors are showing. I thought he followed me around because he thought I was awesome: now I just think he's a chow hound!

Oh, and for those of you dying to know how I'm scooping poop in the field, I figured it out! Because of the dry grass and wet ground, I have to use a hard-tined rake and scoop the horse apples into a wide plastic snow shovel. Then, I throw it over the fence into the compost pile that's going on the garden. "The Garden" = I point to a large patch that I would love vegetables to sprout up in and say, "Oh yeah, that's the garden...." As if.

Yup. Me and my plastic poop shovel...and my "garden."



Shaq wanted to dine al fresco this morning


Bea is dying for some attention: won't anyone play?

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Littlest Ranch Hand That Could

Would someone please tell Lily (and I) what sort of farm tool/implement to use to pick up horse apples out of a field full of long dry grass? We have tried a pitch fork, a blue plastic snow shovel, a heavy, square bury-it-in-the-backyard shovel and nothing will get that stuff into my wheelbarrow very easily. I almost resorted to using chop sticks, as they are the only way to pick up anything. However, Mr. H and I learned this while living in Arizona and let me tell you something: I used to have an inexhaustible collection of wooden chopsticks. I have 2 1/2 chopsticks left.

Yeah, that's Lily's tongue sticking out a bit. She's relaxed.
Farm chores relax her.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Kidding Around At Scapegoat Farm

Here are some great photos of Kimi-goat's new kids, born Wednesday:









Saturday, April 9, 2011

Up And At 'Em

I wish I had time to write more, but at the moment I am required to show up in the horse pasture to build a goat pen. Why? Because if that crazy goat tries to trip one of my Minis (Tonda's Minis) with her cable tie out (30-foot leash), my heart won't be able to take it. I found myself in a predicament this morning where I couldn't get Assel to come to me so I could get the cable out from under him and I couldn't get Beatrice the Amish goat to cooperate and let me get some slack in the cable. Bea, I'm sorry to have to inform you that I will snap your little neck if I have to, to save Aunt Tonda's horses. Tonda kicks a lot harder than you ever could--I ain't afraid of you!

The Shaq Attack. Shaq is a beautiful little horse

Assel on the mend from a dangerous bout of colic. Poop Assel, Poop!

Beatrice the Amish Goat: she no longer practices "Amish-ism,"
but we still call her the "Amish" goat because that is how she
began life--at a very lovely Amish farm, friends of my dad Farmer Ron

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Hello Grandma!


I got a call today at 5:45am. It was my dad, Farmer Ron. He says, "Hello Grandma!" Luckily his tone was very light and happy--so I knew that my own grandmother was safe and sound. Whew. It was extremely early in the morning though and I had just come in from doing my barn chores, still a novice. I was also getting in gear for a full day of teaching, and that was on my mind, so when Farmer Ron said that I was a grandma I had no idea what he was talking about. Basically, Kimi-goat, one of the twins born in May when my best friend Seneca and I were up here on vacation, had a pair of twin kids: a boy (Jack) and a girl (Jill). Seneca-goat is due any day now--any hour now.  The other two ladies in their pen, Sen and Kimi-goat's mom AND their "spinster Aunt" are both due in a matter of weeks. **You will probably want to tune out of this blog during the spring months, as that is when all of the little barnyard animals have babies. I took 100 pictures today and we were only there an hour!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Wednesday On The Farm...ette

It's not a complete farm, after all, because I don't have a tractor yet. Isn't that the qualifier?

Assel is looking a bit better; he still has moments where we wonder what he's doing and how he's feeling. I'm working from home today and moved my desk in front of the piano so that I could see out the window that overlooks the horse pasture.

At the moment (celebrate!) Shaq finally stopped eating and is taking a break. He is probably going to have to go to some sort of fat camp for kids this summer--you know, after school gets out.


Shaq is hard to get a picture of because his head is always down, grazing!

Assel is grazing slowly and behaving so far.

This little blue-eyed wooly mammoth is awfully cute
Beatrice the Amish goat is annoying everyone. She is very social and very sweet. Shaq enjoys putting her in her place because that's what Assel does to him. The horse apples "roll down hill," so to speak.



Bea is very athletic